My fellow mediocre golfers,

I speak before you today in a time of great joy. Joy not only for what the MGA has become, but also for what the future holds for this great league of ours.

Last November we saw the power of a small, innocent town in Nevada. The power to transform what was once a group of four friends, into a World Championship. A global network is forming, creating connections between people who most likely never would have met in this lifetime. Drawn together only by the common thread of being terrible at golf.

In 2009 we crowned Todd Benoit our World Champion. A worthy champion indeed, his record is unmatched in MGA competition. But that was 2009 and it is now 2010. New chapters are on the horizon, and previously unknown golfers will be thrust into the dimly lit spotlight. We may see as many as three of these chapters appear by the start of the season; all looking to dethrone our reigning champion. Golf will be played, oh yes, and it will be played in such a manner that may impress a small child with no frame of reference.

A new website has been promised and it shall be delivered. A few good men who believe in the dream are working hard to make this website a reality, and Todd-willing, it will be ready for the start of the season in March. The website will offer revolutionary ease of use and professionalism to a league that deserves neither. Player profiles will be editable by players themselves and chapter leaders will have the tools they need to run tournaments with ease and efficiency.

Trophy production has begun at MGA World Headquarters and anticipation is building for the start of the season. New rules are being finalized and will be announced before the season starts. World Championship qualification standards are being established and will inform you what it will take to make it to Vegas in 2010.

Dream big this season, because you have eight chances to take home a coveted big check and place yourself atop a global money list. The past has shown us that success in the MGA is less about practicing golf and more about finding training regime works best for you as an individual. So go now and begin your search for that immaculate malt liquor, the ultimate strip club or that perfect girl that will make your golf game mediocre.

Give us your tired swings, your poor form, your befuddled mess of a putting stroke, yearning to shoot 114. The wretched refuse of a twelve inch divot. Send these shanks, slices and hooks to us, we lift our beer inside the 19th hole.

Beating the President to the punch since 2006,

The MGA